If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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