we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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