I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
