Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
