Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
