I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
