I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
