I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
