Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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