Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
