half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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