She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
