my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
