im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
