i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Randomize
