Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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