im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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