ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
