Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
