everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
