Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
