I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
