you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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