Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
