If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
They have beer where we have blood.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
