dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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