that's an acceptable place to lick
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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