Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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