i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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