I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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