I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
