suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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