I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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