I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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