We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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