What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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