I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
