Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
