if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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