Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
