I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
