I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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