i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
