he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
