i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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