why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
