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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
