It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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