I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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