I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
