Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
