Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
